Wednesday, October 29, 2003

kimberlee

Kimberlee is fabulous... ... Kimberlee is on the cusp of stardom
Kimberlee is said to be a show stopper
Kimberlee is a kind and caring young lady and an excellent friend to her fellow Club members.
"Kimberlee is now one of them! She sucks the life out of people!!"
Kimberlee, is five and in an Inclusive Preschool Program and it has been wonderful for her.
Kimberlee is the 1,031st most popular female first name in the United States.
Kimberlee is SURGICO's customer service rep and many of you will have spoken to her on the phone.
Kimberlee is becoming a little lady among her group.
Kimberlee is one of the best group scenes in the tape
Kimberlee is an altogether avid big game fisherman.
Kimberlee is somewhat softer in bearing, given to earthier tones of olive and beige.
Kimberlee is hoping that Laura can be a part of her life for many years and she
looks forward to seeing Laura graduate from high school some day.
Kimberlee is 12 and lives in California.
Kimberlee is my youngest and she keeps you laughing. She is the one that gets into mischief all the time.
KIMBERLEE IS A PROFESSIONAL ESCORT ANY MONIES PAID TO HER IS FOR
HER TIME AS A COMPANION ONLY ANYTHING ELSE THAT MAY OCOUR IS OF CHOICE BETWEEN CONSENTING ADULTS THANK YOU.

Friday, October 17, 2003

non-angelenos

What is it about people that move to LA only to sit next to me and criticize the women here, the culture, the fakeness of it all, the traffic blah blah blah....if it is so bad then why are you living here and why do you think that I care to hear your insults and opinions about a place that formed who I am? Do you think I am going to agree?

Thursday, October 16, 2003

diploma of universal inebriation-dui

Drinking Courses

DR 101, Introduction to Beer, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs
Corequisite: DR 101-L

Introductory course in directed drinking, intended primarily for freshmen escaping parental supervision for the first time. The four basic food groups (Budweiser, Miller, Heineken, and Coors) are investigated and compared. The physiology of beer, including bladder control, projectile vomiting. Staff.

DR 101-L, Introduction to Beer-Lab, 1 cr, 3 lab hrs

KEGGER!!! May be repeated for credit Staff.

DR 235, Drinking and the Environment, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

Survey of the ecological effects of getting ’faced. Drinking and seamanship: When should a supertanker captain say "when"? Fraternity initiation binge drinking as social Darwinism. Alcohol and petroleum depletion, with special attention to the amount of inebriation necessary to make driving through downtown LA at 115 MPH seem like a good idea. Hazelwood, King.

DR 301, Intermediate Beer, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

Corequisite: DR 301-L

A practical examination of the ethos of beer drinking. Drinking games as means of speeding intoxication, with special attention to Quarters, Shotgunning, and Hi Bob. Beer economics: six-packs, cases, or kegs? A sociological examination of the role of beer in Southwestern culture: Longnecks and rednecks. Staff.

DR 301-L, Intermediate Beer-Lab, 1 cr, 3 lab hrs

To-GA! To-GA! To-GA!... May be repeated for credit Staff.

DR 325, Aesthetics of Alcohol, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

Why does the world look better through the bottom of a booze bottle? The role of liquor in allowing dull, ugly people to get dates is discussed. Why bad bar bands prefer to wait until the audience is half in the bag to begin playing. Includes an in-depth analysis of country music. Richards.

DR 334, Philosophy of Beer, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

The great questions of Western civilization as relates to getting snockered. Why is American beer like making love on the beach? Did the genesis of light beer literally involve incontinent goats? Can any man truly own beer, or does one merely rent it? What is truth when you are trying to buy beer with fake ID? Bailey.

DR 407, Ethanolpolitik, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

Case studies of the role of alcohol in international government. The effect of vodka on pre- and post-communist Russian economic chaos. The importance of slivovitz (plum brandy) in the political stability of the Balkans. The course concludes with a detailed examination of 20th century French military history. Thompson.

DR 410, Gastromusicology, 3 cr, 3 cl hrs

The art of the belch. Practical performance technique is emphasized; students are given private instruction to help develop timbre, endurance, and pitch. The methods of the masters are studied, with special attention to the early works of Belushi. In addition to a class concert, each student is required to give a solo recital; this recital must include one classical piece, one contemporary piece, and one selection from the compositions of Gilbert and Sullivan. McMahon

DR 499, Distinguished Speakers Series, 1 cr, 1 cl hrs

Lecture series featuring recognized experts in the field of alcohol absorption. Previous speakers have included Boris Yeltsin (honorary degree recipient), numerous members of the Kennedy family, and David Crosby’s original liver. To be announced.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

grocery store strike - "L.A. is a Wal-Mart town. Get used to it."

Robert Greene from the LA Weekly wrote a great article regarding the Southern California grocery strike that has been taking place since Sunday. The strike is more than just grocery store employees requesting higher wages. It's a battle between the Wal-Mart super-power and the grocery stores.

"Pressure from Wal-Marts lower costs and grocery prices moved Ralphs, Vons and Albertsons to demand Southern California contract concessions from the United Food and Commercial Workers (UFCW), which responded this week with a strike vote. As grocery workers prepare to picket, their union, Councilman Eric Garcetti and the Los Angeles Alliance for a New Economy (LAANE) are readying an ordinance that would bar Wal-Mart from ever selling groceries in Los Angeles unless the virulently anti-union corporation takes the unlikely step of agreeing to pay its grocery workers a prevailing wage."

Read Entire Article Here

drunk bird

~Police Nab Vicious Crow by Getting It Drunk

BERLIN (Reuters) - German police apprehended a vicious crow which was attacking passers-by by getting it drunk on bait laced with alcohol, authorities said Monday.

The bird eluded its captors after attacking a woman and a young girl at the weekend until cat food soaked in high-alcohol fruit schnapps proved too tempting to resist.

"The crow was completely smashed," said a spokesman for police in the western city of Dortmund.

Police said the crow was sleeping off its hangover in a local animal home.

Monday, October 13, 2003

happy birthday libra

Today is my brother Eric's birthday, although he doesn't visit the internet ever, I'm still going to wish him a Happy one and also to all of you other Libra's out there celebrating your born on date.

Libra Horoscope for week of October 9, 2003

"There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about," wrote Libran Oscar Wilde, "and that is not being talked about." You won't have to worry about the latter problem in the next two weeks. The number of discussions about your character and behavior will probably exceed that of any other 14-day period in the past five years. Fortunately, the astrological indicators suggest that a relatively high percentage of the gossip flying around will be benevolent and even flattering. It will be a good time, therefore, for a marketing campaign or networking blitz.

From FreeWillAstrology

Tuesday, October 07, 2003

Study:

Uneducated Outbreeding Intelligentsia 2-To-1

CHICAGO—In a report with dire implications for the intellectual future of America, a University of Chicago study revealed Monday that the nation's uneducated are breeding twice as soon and twice as often as those with university diplomas. "The average member of the American underclass spawns at age 15, compared to age 30 for the average college-educated professional," study leader Kenneth Stalls said. "America's intellectual elite, as a result, is badly losing the genetic marathon, with two generations of dullards born for every one generation of cultured literates." Added Stalls: "At this rate, by the year 2100 there will be five smart people on Earth, swallowed whole by more than 12 billion mouth-breathers incapable of understanding the binary exponentiation that swamped the Earth with their like." High-school dropout Mandi Drucker, 16, said of the findings, "All I know is, we're in love."

~www.theonion.com~