Monday, December 08, 2003

The Oreo Personality Test

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which
people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their
personalities. Choose which method best describes your
favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time.
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each
bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing. This means you consume life with
abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with
some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No
one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time. You are lucky to be one of the 5.4
billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way.
Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not
to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and methodical. You follow the rules. You're very
tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail
with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive
and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if
you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous nibbles. Your boss likes you because you get
your work done quickly. You always have a million things to
do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and
suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you

5. Dunked. Every one likes you because you are always up
beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and
rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total
denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a
propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie. You have
a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking
things apart to find out how they work, though not always
able to put them back together, so you destroy all the
evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when
things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit
deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie. You
are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take
what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy,
selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be
ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got

8. Just the cookie, not the inside. You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them. Stay away from
small furry animals and seek professional medical help -

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies.
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice
things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular
and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things
have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a

Thursday, December 04, 2003

memo to walmart employees - nice cake

this has got to be the funniest internal memo ever.

This is what happens when Wal-Mart outsources to the lowest bidder who then hires ex-criminals at rock-bottom wages and proceeds to treat them like shit (no pun intended).

Welcome to the glorious capitalist republic.