Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Aquarius Horoscope for week of May 22, 2003

You're entering puberty again! Congrats! It'll be on a higher octave than last time, so you'll have more savvy to deal
with the hormonal rush. To facilitate this unpredictable foray into serious goofiness, I'm happy to present you with
the wisdom of sixth grade girls I know, gleaned from sayings they've scrawled on their backpacks and binders. Enjoy.

Understand the groove. Learn as if you'll live forever. Explain yourself wildly, not carefully. Wake up -- but not too fast,
or you might hurt yourself. Question authority, including the authority that told you to question authority.
It's all so funny -- how can you not be laughing? When you shout "halaluya," never spell it right.
Live the freakiest truth. Give me chocolate or I'll scream.

...for my virgo friends....

Virgo Horoscope for week of May 22, 2003

Your sense of mission should be heating up, Virgo. Your tribe needs you more than usual.
Your potential is ripening at the same time it is becoming most useful to your cohorts.
But wait: That doesn't mean your path will be effortless in the coming weeks.
There will be adversaries and agents of confusion you'll have to outwit.
In order to be a radiant instigator of beauty and truth for your allies and a cagey master of strategy
when dealing with your competitors, I recommend the paradoxical approach Jesus described:
Be as pure and harmless as a dove and as wise as a serpent.

...for the fish....

Pisces Horoscope for week of May 22, 2003

A German woman who recently died bequeathed her nephew $275,000. Trouble is,
he's a homeless man who wanders around a lot. Executors of the woman's
will have not yet been able to locate him. This resembles a situation in your own life,
Pisces. Even now, a rich source of blessings is trying to track you down and attract your attention.
So far you've been oblivious. Let's hope you wake up to the presence of the gift very soon.